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Aug. 2nd, 2005 @ 10:45 am well well well
In February, a Judicial Conduct Board in Pittsburgh filed charges against District Judge Ernest Marraccini, who apparently was upset one day at having to sit as a substitute traffic judge. ("Well, I'm not spending the day here," he allegedly said in court.) To the 30 people waiting to appeal their tickets, Marraccini reportedly said, "Well, then, let's just find everybody not guilty!" When the stunned appellants didn't immediately react, Marraccini said, "I told you you're all not guilty. ... What are you, a bunch of morons?" [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 2-16-05]
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darklightbunny
enqblot:
Jul. 17th, 2005 @ 09:22 pm hmm...
Current Mood: Lost in thought
Current Music: DMB - #41
So... I've been sitting around all weekend not really doing anything, and i was like hrm... i haven't really posted much to the 7 point pitt... you know what i should just clear it out start some other time but... BUT there someone here we don't all know. Now... this time you rabble rousers lets TRY not to scare this one away. Oh yeah Hi! You snuck in! sneaky sneaky!

That aside let us get down to business. Next weekend is mu-fuckin ozzfest. Are we psyched? I am. Can we please get Scoot laid? I think scoot needs a wingman.
The Tallest: Can't do it. He's too tall. OH yeah and he's an asshole.
Me: I'm black and spoken for.
Doug: eh... well doug is doug.
Mike: Probably a better choice but he comes with mebbe a secret agenda. But... i dunno...

WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A PARTY AFTER OZZFEST. NO MATTER WHAT. So here's the plan. You know how they have the stinger and the stacker down there. Well we need to horde that shit and start crunchin down the pills at the end of it. that why by the time we get to where we're going we'll be so fucking wired and ready to party.
We need to somehow get in contact with Brookmont and make shure folks are there at like 12midnight. And we need to bring beer, alcohol, and the appropiate drugs. No heroine Scoot! You naughty boy.

Thank you for you time. Welcome new comer. We're nice i swear...
Enqblot Dreadbunny of Panic Planning

PS Its fucking hard work to try and get your cherry popped you-who.... i hope you appreciate this. AND YOU BETTER NOT FUCK THIS UP AGAIN
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darklightbunny
enqblot:
Jun. 18th, 2005 @ 01:42 pm DEEP THOUGHTS!
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: Bush ~ Glycerine
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.


If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.


If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."


When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.


It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, and Angel gets set on fire.


I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"


Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it, little friend.


If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.


Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.


If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.


If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because, man, they're gone.


There's nothing so tragic as seeing a family ripped apart by something as simple as a pack of wolves.


Too bad you can't just grab a tree by the tiptop and bend it clear over the ground and then let her fly, becuase I'll bet you'd be amazed at all the stuff that comes flying out.


I think somebody should come up with a way to breed a very large shrimp. That way, you could ride him, then, after you camped at night, you could eat him. How about it, science?


If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted.
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13ducks:
May. 31st, 2005 @ 01:28 pm Inconsistances that are bothering me
So shit blew up this weekend. But I'm having a problem trying to figure this out... check it out most of us have read this already and/or know where its comes from but if you know what the fuckin is going on i would like to know

"XXXX i lov eyou, i really do"
And
"XXXX, your right i dont like you"

Which one is it? I don't know which on is fake. Cause one of em has to be.
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killin time
enqblot:
Apr. 27th, 2005 @ 08:16 am Something is not right...
So this girl that lives in Peru is living in poverty, she has a job being a model making 60 bucks a week or something, trying to support her sick mother and supply her brother through school. The situation seems hopeless. She thinks to herself "what do i have a value? well not much... ::thinking thinking DING:: I'll sell my virginity!" So she puts out some ads n stuff and some Canadian guy offers her 1.5 MILLION dollars. 1.5 MILLION DOLLARS. She turns it down cause "What would her husband and children think?" Something is not right...

Wanna join Pi Kappa Phi frat at the University of Berkeley? Do you? Well strip down naked and let us shoot you a bunch of times with BB guns until you have to go to the hospital.... Something is not right...

Bush hold a Arab prince's hand. Falling oil prices? Homosexuality? WHO GIVES A FUCK LOWER MY GAS! I don't care what you gotta do Bush. Make like Mark and suck that dick! Something is not right...

Brittany is pregnant. Who cares? Be glad your not her child. Be really glad you're not her child and you still want to nail her. Something is not right...

BREAKING NEWS... to me anyway. The new pope might not know he is the pope! Yeah... his brother told me he's forgetful. "And now its time for the evening tithe.... and now its time for the evening tithe... and now its time for the evening tithe... and now its time for the evening tithe... and now- oh we did that? And now its time for the evening tithe..." Something is not right...

Enqblot Dreadbunny of Netscape Whats New
PS Is the world in trouble? Is there hope for the future?
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darklightbunny
enqblot:
Apr. 25th, 2005 @ 03:43 pm Code Purple
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: Tunez circling my skull
Check it out. . . . . BONG

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Kitties
brainfreeze62:
Apr. 21st, 2005 @ 04:01 pm New Sketch Show Needs Writers
I am a writer/actor who is moving back to Pittsburgh after a year studying/performing at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York City.

I am putting together a (monthly?) sketch comedy show in Pittsburgh, and so I need a few writers.

You would be a part of a writing staff who will suggest sketch concepts and then write those sketches solo or in teams. Sketches will further be edited as needed by the head writer

What I need from you:

2-3 sketches
I am looking for character/situation-driven comedy that does not rely on puns, gimmicks, or funny names. It can be silly or absurd, but should have some connection to reality.

I'm looking for work along the lines of Kids in the Hall, Mr. Show, and the Upright Citizens Brigade television shows. Most will be stage pieces, but some of the sketches will be filmed interstitials between sketches.

Sketches should be between 2-4 minutes long.

I will also need a cover letter telling me about your previous experience with writing/comedy, how you prefer to work, how you characterize your humor, etc.

E-mail: chrisgriswold ''AT'' gmail ''DOT'' com
[This has been cross-posted.]
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Sentry/Void
johnnywar:
Apr. 18th, 2005 @ 12:55 am (no subject)
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: why can't we be friends
thomas done lost his mind!... [and according to Yates... his balls. i deny this.]
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13ducks:
Apr. 12th, 2005 @ 11:30 pm Hello!
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: i will kill you all, nothing you can do about it...
Hey people! I know you all! I've seen you all naked [except for two of you]. This is neat. Neat in the way that my clothes are not folded and more strewn about the floor like the carpet was never there. My room is clean, ignore the last statement. Did you ever notice some people should lighten the fuck up? Like maybe they should just not take some shit so seriously? Lets run a test. I will say "I hate you all," and we'll see just who gets pissed... ready!?

I hate you all.
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13ducks:
Apr. 12th, 2005 @ 06:31 pm Fuck PT
Current Mood: enthralled
Current Music: American Head Charge - The Feeding
StartFragment
Sex and Calorie Usage
Joke via e-mail...

Until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content
of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary"
research they are proud to present the results.



REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent.................................12 Calories
Without her consent............................2187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.................................8 Calories
With one hand...................................12 Calories
With your teeth.................................485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection..................................6 Calories
Without an erection............................3315 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary.........................................12 Calories
Wheelbarrow....................................216 Calories
Doggy Style......................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier.............................2912 Calories

ORGASMS:
Real........................................112 Calories
Fake............................................1315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging...........................18 Calories
Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.......816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years....................................36 Calories
30-39 years....................................80 Calories
40-49 years....................................124 Calories
50-59 years....................................1972 Calories
60-69 years....................................7916 Calories
70 and over....................................Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.....................................................32 Calories
In a hurry.....................................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door...........5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door............13,521 Calories

Results may vary.

What is an Italian chandelier?



Thats what it is. And if you didn't understand the picture. The woman is on top staring at the sky/ceiling/forest canopy.
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darklightbunny
enqblot: